In less than 48, er 24 hours, I’ll be boarding a plane that will take me to another plane, which will land me in The Netherlands for a three-month stint working from a town called Delft. Two colleagues asked me separately today if I had started packing. I haven’t. That question made me a bit anxious. In fact, this countdown in general makes me anxious. Despite all the preparation I did months in advance of this trip, the last-minute stuff is catching me off guard. There are a couple of logistical details to figure out like opening a bank account (which requires getting a residency permit at a government office in The Netherlands), but all said, I’m fairly prepared logistically. I suppose I’m less prepared emotionally. I often neglect that piece. So I could be packing or figuring out where specifically to get a residency permit, but instead I’m writing a blog post in order to emotionally prepare. So thanks in advance, readers, for lending a virtual ear.

I didn’t realize how much comfort I take in my people and my surroundings until these last few days. My friends threw me a completely unexpected send-off party, which was incredibly touching and fun but also made me realize that I won’t see all of these people for three months. Em and I moved into this new house two weeks ago, and most of our stuff is still in boxes. I’m just starting to recognize this place as home. It will be completely different when I return thanks to Em’s uncanny nesting instinct, which will be able to run free while I’m away :) . I won’t really speak the language – I’ve only been able to learn a tiny bit of Dutch, but I understand that English is quite common. I have a room that I’ve arranged to stay in for three nights while I look for a more permanent rental. I contemplated bringing my folding bike that packs into an airline-approved suitcase, but I decided against it in favor of saving that one free checked bag for other stuff I’ll need, so my first item of business will be to find a bike when I get there. I won’t get to enjoy the fantastic dinners that Em cooks and my coworkers call “lovingly-crafted leftovers” the next day. I won’t get to eat with her across the table and Kepler rolling on her rug under the table. Em took off yesterday to spend the weekend with my family outside of Philly and attend a youth poetry slam event in which many of the students she works with are performing – it sounded like a good opportunity, and I’m glad she got to go. It also means that I miss her already, and I will be saying goodbye to only Kepler and The Lightning (the guppies) when I head out tomorrow.

So I am expecting to be uncomfortable, and I’m trying to resign to that. It’s part of the experience that I signed up for, I suppose. I also realize that when I feel uncomfortable like this, it usually means I am learning or growing in some way, so there’s that.

I have had some moments of excitement about my trip that have punctuated my anxiety though. This is something I have wanted to do for years – maybe 7 or 8 years? I’m not exactly sure. When people ask me why I am doing it, I say that I wanted to get to know the culture of The Netherlands firsthand because I think it’s a culture with which I will really resonate: the world capital of bicycles and wind power, settled within the socially-minded continent of Europe.

Thinking back to the most meaningful international travel experience I’ve had, I got the most out of spending Christmas in Guatemala with my buddy, Chris and his family that still lives there. I haven’t had a real immersive experience like that since. I learned the concept of what family means in Latin America. Somehow being a tourist in other places has left me wanting to know more.

Anyhow, I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to take this opportunity. I owe major thanks to all my family and friends (and a stranger I met on a Greyhound bus) who have encouraged me to do this, Buildium for trusting and allowing me to work remotely for three months, our loan officer and our realtor / family friend for making possible the seemingly-impossible feat of buying and moving into a house before my trip, and most of all to Em for always being the one to make me stop fretting about the future and enjoy the present moment.

Now I’ve got to figure out how I’m getting to the airport tomorrow…